Reflective quiz · For adults · Neff's scale
Free adult self-compassion quiz.
Twelve questions, about two minutes. This is Dr. Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion Scale, which looks at how you treat yourself when things go wrong. Most of us are far gentler with the people we love than we are with ourselves.
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About this quiz
How you treat yourself when you struggle.
Think of how you would talk to a good friend who just failed at something they cared about. Now think of how you talk to yourself in the same moment. For most people there is a gap, and often a large one. Self-compassion is simply the practice of closing it.
This scale, developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, looks at three things: whether you meet your struggles with kindness or harsh judgment, whether you feel connected to others in hard moments or painfully alone, and whether you can hold difficult feelings with balance. Answer for how you generally respond.
The Self-Compassion Scale Short Form was developed by Raes, Pommier, Neff, and Van Gucht (2011), based on the work of Dr. Kristin Neff. Reproduced here with Dr. Neff's kind permission, for free educational use. Learn more at self-compassion.org.
The critic was never the whole story
Therapy that helps you soften toward yourself.
For a lot of people, the harsh inner voice showed up early and has been running unquestioned ever since. Our doctoral-level psychologists help you understand where it came from and build something kinder in its place, not as a slogan but as a felt shift. In Carlsbad, Encinitas, Vista, or online across California. It starts with a free 15-minute consultation.
Questions
About the self-compassion quiz.
01 Is low self-compassion a diagnosis?
No. Self-compassion is not a disorder, and this is not a diagnostic tool. It describes how you tend to treat yourself when things go wrong. It moves over time, and it responds to practice.
02 What is self-compassion, exactly?
Dr. Kristin Neff describes it as three things working together: being kind to yourself rather than harshly critical, remembering that struggle is part of being human rather than something only you go through, and holding painful feelings with balance rather than being swept away by them.
03 Isn’t self-compassion just letting myself off the hook?
It is a common worry, and the research points the other way. Self-compassion is not self-pity or lowering your standards. People who are kinder to themselves tend to take more responsibility, recover from setbacks faster, and are actually more motivated, not less, because failure stops being so threatening.
04 Can self-compassion be learned?
Yes, and that is the hopeful part. It is a skill, not a fixed trait, and it is quite trainable. A great deal of therapy is exactly this: learning to turn toward your own pain with the same warmth you would offer someone you love.
Ready when you are
You deserve your own kindness.
Starting is a small step: a short, no-pressure conversation to see if we are a good fit. We would be glad to hear from you.