When Trying Harder Makes It Worse: Understanding Experiential Avoidance
Experiential avoidance is the effort to escape uncomfortable inner experiences, and it quietly drives a lot of suffering. A Carlsbad psychologist explains.
Category
Psychotherapy
Browse psychotherapy articles and insights from licensed psychologists at Coastal Therapy Group serving North San Diego County.
The archive
29 essays.
Therapy for PMDD and Premenstrual Distress: What It Can and Cannot Do
What therapy can and cannot do for PMDD and premenstrual distress, and how it works best alongside medical care rather than in place of it.
Schizoid personality: closeness as a wish and a fear
Schizoid personality is organized around wanting closeness and fearing being engulfed by it. Jean Jho, PsyD explains the pattern, how it develops, why it is not introversion or avoidant personality, and what helps in therapy.
Masking, Social Anxiety, and People-Pleasing: Which One Is It?
Masking, social anxiety, and people-pleasing look alike from outside and need different treatment. Lisette Montañez, PsyD on how to tell them apart, and why it matters.
ACT for Chronic Pain: When the Goal Cannot Be Getting Rid of the Pain
When pain will not fully go away, ACT helps you reclaim your life from it. A Carlsbad psychologist on acceptance and commitment therapy for chronic pain.
What Makes Interracial Relationships Different, and What Helps Them Thrive
Couples who come from different racial or cultural backgrounds are doing the ordinary work of a relationship plus a second job that mostly goes unacknowledged. The five pressures that make it harder, and what the research says helps.
Humor as a Defense Mechanism: The Joke That Helps You Keep Going
Humor is one of the friendliest defense mechanisms: it names something painful while keeping you on your feet. Sean Noe, PhD explains why we joke through hard moments, when it helps, and when it keeps people at a distance.
When “It’s Just Your Period” Isn’t the Whole Story
What happens when premenstrual feelings get dismissed as hormones, and what it means when the premenstrual version of you is telling the truth.
What EMDR Is Actually Like, From the First Session to the Last
People rarely ask me whether EMDR works. They ask what actually happens in the room. Here is the whole arc, from the first conversation to the session where we notice the memory has gone quiet.
The PDM-3: A Clinician's Guide to the Psychodynamic Diagnostic Manual
The PDM-3 gives clinicians a systematic way to describe personality organization, mental functioning, and subjective experience. Jean Jho, PsyD walks through the P, M, and S axes, the Psychodiagnostic Chart, and how the manual fits alongside the DSM-5-TR and ICD-11.
Why Your Emotions Change Before Your Period, and What They Might Be Telling You
Why you feel more emotional before your period, what those feelings might be telling you, and when to take them seriously. From Naomi Wu, PsyD.
What Are Your Values, Really
Your values are not goals or rules. A Carlsbad psychologist explains what values really are in ACT, how to find yours, and why they steady a hard life.
ACT for Anxiety: Why Fighting Your Anxiety Keeps It Alive
The harder you fight anxiety, the stronger it tends to get. A Carlsbad psychologist on how acceptance and commitment therapy changes your relationship to anxiety instead of trying to eliminate it.
Projection: When the Feeling Is Yours but the Address Is Wrong
Projection takes a feeling you cannot accept in yourself and hands it to someone else. Sean Noe, PhD explains why the mind does it, what it costs, and what helps when you are the one being handed a feeling that is not yours.
Acceptance Is Not Approval
Accepting a painful reality does not mean condoning it. A Carlsbad psychologist on what acceptance actually asks of you, why fighting a feeling backfires, and how acceptance is what makes action possible.
The Difference Between Letting Go and Giving Up
Letting go and giving up look almost identical from the outside and feel completely different inside. A Carlsbad psychologist on acceptance, resignation, and the line between them.
Feeling Like a Different Person Before Your Period
Many people feel like someone else in the days before their period. Naomi Wu, PsyD on what that experience means, and how to meet that version of you instead of fearing it.
Splitting in Psychology: Why the Mind Sees All Good or All Bad
Splitting is the mind's habit of seeing people, including yourself, as all good or all bad, with no middle. Sean Noe, PhD explains where the defense comes from, what it protects, and how therapy helps it soften.
Understanding Psychoanalytic Diagnosis: A Different Way of Seeing People
Psychoanalytic diagnosis asks who you are, not just what symptoms you have. Jean Jho, PsyD explains levels of personality organization, character styles, and how the PDM differs from the DSM.
Cognitive Defusion: How to Stop Believing Everything Your Mind Says
Cognitive defusion is the ACT skill of seeing a thought as just a thought. A Carlsbad psychologist explains what fusion costs you, what defusion feels like, and a few ways to practice it.
What Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Actually Is, From Inside the Room
Acceptance and commitment therapy, explained from inside the room. A Carlsbad psychologist on what ACT actually is, how the six processes work in real sessions, and who it tends to help.
PMS vs PMDD: How to Tell the Difference
PMS, PMDD, and premenstrual exacerbation are not the same. Naomi Wu, PsyD explains the differences, the warning signs, and when to seek help.
The Menstrual Cycle and Your Emotional Life: What the Medical Model Leaves Out
Your menstrual cycle can shape your emotional life in real and noticeable ways. Naomi Wu, PsyD on how the cycle affects your emotions, what the medical model leaves out, and when premenstrual distress is worth listening to.
Defense Mechanisms, Explained in Plain Language
Defense mechanisms are the mind's automatic ways of protecting itself from feelings that seem too dangerous to feel. Sean Noe, PhD explains splitting, projection, repression, and more in plain language.
Can AI Replace Therapy? Why a Digital Face Will Never Be Human
Psychologist Reid Kessler, Psy.D. explains why AI chatbots can't replicate the therapeutic relationship, drawing on Bion, Winnicott, Benjamin, and Harlow's research. Coastal Therapy Group, North County San Diego.
What Words Cannot Hold: A Therapist's Reflections on Emotional Awareness
A psychotherapist reflects on how a Broadway show revealed the power of nonverbal emotional experience and what it teaches us about the connection between our bodies, feelings, and the moments when words fall short.
What Does It Mean When We Say “Relational Psychotherapy”?
Discover how relational therapy deepens self-understanding and supports healthier relationships. Learn what to expect and how this approach differs from CBT.
Healing From Religious Trauma
Dr. Gabriel Lowe explores what healing from religious trauma looks like — from acknowledging pain and reclaiming agency to rebuilding a meaningful life.
Understanding Transference in Therapy
What is transference in therapy? Dr. Jean Jho explains how feelings toward your therapist can reveal patterns from your past and deepen your self-awareness.