What Does It Mean When We Say “Relational Psychotherapy”?

Searching for a therapist can be hard. When looking for a therapist, there are several factors that determine what is a good fit. If you go online and search for psychologists and therapists in Psychology Today, you may come across multiple profiles that list terms such as “CBT, DBT, and Relational Therapy.” This may seem a little confusing, and you may find yourself wondering, “Aren’t all therapists supposed to be relational?” So, what do we mean when we talk about relational psychotherapy?

Relational Therapists Focus on the Special Relationship They Build With You

While all therapists aim to build a relationship with you, relational therapists focus on the unique connection that forms within your sessions. They pay special attention to what is happening between the two of you in real time. Extra time is spent on building rapport, and your therapist may invite you to reflect on the dynamic emerging in the room or make observations about what they’re noticing.

Relational therapists also help you discover patterns that appear not only in therapy but also in your relationships outside of therapy. Your therapist may invite you to focus on your internal experience—physical sensations, emotional reactions, or triggers—that arise while you’re sitting together.

Relational therapists take time to help you develop insight about yourself and your relationships, exploring your wishes, fantasies, desires, and fears. While some modalities focus narrowly on treating a specific diagnosis or reducing symptoms, relational therapists work with both your symptoms and the deeper experiences that shape who you are.

Focusing on Your Relationships With Others

It is common when working with a relational therapist to discuss your relationships with important people in your life. Your therapist may help you explore your relationships in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. Themes and patterns that show up in these relationships may be examined to help you gain insight into yourself and your ways of relating.

As humans, we naturally desire connection, belonging, and meaningful relationships. The relationships we grow up with, the friendships we form, and the people we encounter all influence how we feel about ourselves and how we view others.

How Does Relational Therapy Differ From Cognitive Therapy Models?

There are notable differences between relational therapy models and cognitive or behavioral models. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), for example, is a widely used modality in which the therapist helps you understand how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected. CBT sessions may feel more structured; you may have a set agenda, specific goals, and exercises to practice between sessions.

Relational therapists tend to be more non-directive, leaving more space for you to shape how sessions unfold. They often follow your lead, offering observations or interpretations. Relational psychotherapy is focused on helping you build insight into how you show up in relationships and how your interactions with others affect your emotional and psychological well-being.

If you’re looking for a therapist geared toward helping you manage a specific diagnosis or reduce particular symptoms, you may be interested in cognitive therapy models. If you’re hoping to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your relationships, a therapist practicing relational psychotherapy may be a good fit.

Finding Support That Fits You

Relational therapy offers a space to slow down, notice yourself more clearly, and better understand how your relationships shape your emotional world. If you’re curious about this kind of work or wondering whether relational therapy might help you feel more connected—to yourself or to others—we’d be honored to talk with you. Our psychologists at Coastal Therapy Group approach therapy with warmth, care, and a genuine interest in who you are and how you’ve learned to move through the world. When you’re ready, we’re here.